Eulogy Explained

The first thing I said at the funeral, while Asher's body lay wrapped in shrouds on a stone slab in front of me, was: "Frameworks didn't suit Asher." From his first day in elementary school to the day he decided to leave the program in Visual Communication in the Bezalel Art Academy in Jerusalem, Asher had to exercise great self-control in order to accept the demands of educational institutions. A fine woman who served as the principal of his religious elementary school for a year wrote to us with memories of Asher. He didn't want to attend the daily prayers, so instead of forcing him to attend, which would have only made him disruptive, she allowed him to read religious poetry by himself while the other children were attending prayers. If only the other so-called educators who dealt with Asher had been as creative and understanding!
He wasn't purposely rebellious. He was born that way. If he didn't respect a person, he didn't care whether that person held institutional authority, and if he did respect a person, he didn't care whether or not that person held some institutional position. He left high school after the tenth grade and prepared for his matriculation examinations in a private school that had only one purpose: getting kids through the government exams, with no "educational" trimmings. Asher understood that he needed a matriculation certificate, and he was willing to apply himself to the task of passing the examinations, but he couldn't stand it when people pretended to be educators.
He persuaded the army that he was psychologically unsuited for military service, which, indeed, he was. He could have managed in the army as the Chief of Staff, but not as a simple soldier taking orders.
Asher had been working for a production company while he was preparing for his exams, and he did very well with that - he always thrived in work situations, where the structure of authority was related to a real task, and he was never happier than when working hard physically.
His experience with the production company led him to apply to the two-year Stage Management course of LAMDA, an excellent theater school in London, and was accepted. He later admitted to us that during the first year he had his usual problems with authority and institutional frameworks, but in his second year he came around and excelled. While he was struggling during his first year, he never told us how hard he was finding it. Among the many things I regret about my relations with Asher as his father, I'm sorry I didn't provide him more support while he was in London.